lemme give you a background.one of my closest friends, shall i say poses as a person who's famous in her field, modeling. she even made accounts of that person in different sites including chat sites and the like.whatever she thought that person should have.im not saying she's evil, it's just that she got used to it.she doesn't do it often anyway.
let's call that person, ms.JC and my friend, ms.CB and the guy, archer.
it all started when my friend asked me to check ms.JC's account in this certain site because her internet connection was going haywire. so i did as i was told since i was bored anyway.i checked the messages, read most of 'em na nga. there were messages from a number of famous people. then i found him, archer. i thought i could be like ms.CB. i thought my emotions wouldn't get in the way. i thought i could be bitchy and and be someone who can pretend. i thought, but i was wrong. so there, i found out that he put his number in the message. curiosity hit me and look what i got myself into.anyway, i asked permission from ms.CB if i could text archer as ms.JC. SECOND MISTAKE..she said yes and so it began. then for some time i didn't text him. when i heard about what happened to him during one of his games, i thought that would be a good opportunity to text him. i thought to myself, he probably had better things to do and he wouldn't reply so i was surprised when he did reply. and after that, we exchanged messages. but guilt got to me. i told ms.CB that maybe it wasn't such a good idea after all.playing that role was too hard for me and i had to stop. i had to tell him the truth. but my friend told me not to. not YET. she said wait till the season's over, so i did. well, actually i didn't. i just postponed telling him the truth.
we talked about random things. various things. simple things. real things. personal things. i even got him to tell me who his first love was plus who he's dating now. funny thinking bout those moments now, he could confide to me through ms.JC.what beauty can do right?i think i did get to know him.a part of him. and that part of him is all i have now. that part that cheers me up is also the part that makes me sad. it reminded me of how people can be alike, both the famous and the not.
i watched his games on tv. 'cause that was the only place where i could see him. 'cause i'm not from manila. sucks to be me, right? after some time, he texted me that there was another ms.JC who txted him and said that i was a fake. i panicked. i even texted ms.CB about it. she said i should deny it. and i did, although deep inside i really wanted to tell him the truth. i still kept my secret..my dirty lil secret. THIRD MISTAKE.
so, the ides of september came and someone texted me and asked if i was ms.JC. i told him i wasn't. this guy was a soon-to-be archer. and even if he didn't tell me where he got my number, i knew it was from mr archer. he wanted to make sure.archer also texted before the other guy. but after two messages, he didn't reply anymore. on the same night also, i told archer, through text of course, that i wasn't ms.JC and that i was sorry. he didn't reply. i was deeply upset. who wouldn't be?i was upset because he didn't reply. i was upset because he didn't understand. i was upset because i was stupid. and most of all i was upset because i was weak, i was weak because i didn't do a good job in pretending. i was weak because i fell for him. at the same time, i was relieved. you know why? because i told him the truth. i'm no longer chained to who im supposed to be whenever i texted him.hmmm.but... it was only a month or so that i knew him and i was fool enough to be infatuated to him. dumb me huh?
i texted him on my birthday to tell him that, well it was my birthday and it would be good if he greeted me. but he didn't. he did text me later that day though. but my boyfriend and i were watching a movie. all he said was, "Hey its [insert name here]" i'm not sure if i replied to him. but he didn't text me anymore after that. and he didn't greet me. that was the last message he sent me as of now. i still text him every now and then but he just doesn't want to reply i guess.
if he could read this i want to say,
i'm sorry. i'm sorry for pretending and i'm sorry for lying. if i could take it all back, i would. but thanks for cheering me up. thanks for confiding to me. even though i know that's just because you thought i was her. i wish everything would be like before. only this time you'd see the real me. no more lies. text me na. please? take care.
and so mr. archer, will you just please accept my apology?*sigh*
Do you know what the first mistake is? Go on, think about it.
*watch camp rock. tv just isn't reality. sad*
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