He broke up with me on christmas eve. How fcuked up is that?? Couldn't he have picked a nicer day? There are lots of friggin' days in the calendar and he had to choose that day. I mean, did he just wake up and realize "oh, i like this day. im gonna break up with my girlfriend today."
errrr..
and my day didn't even start out great. Firstly because my phone was still super mega whacked out. Phone memory full keeps popping out and i don't even have anything saved in the phone memory, the pictures are saved in the memory card. So i started deleting messages, even folders but still that notice keeps popping out and the folder sign keeps blinking. and i was sooo mad. I thought "why now? dammit!" and the phone suddenly restarted and voila! I thought it was okay buut then when my friend, Mayel sent me a quote, i was supposed to move it in the :) quote folder but it turns out that there was no such folder. Well, there were no folders... Then i realized, HOLY CRAP! ALL MY MESSAGES ARE GONE. AS IN EVERYTHING! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! It felt like it was gonna be the end of the world! All my carefully sorted happy and sad quotes, movie quotes, touching messages, drafts, lyrics of songs, not to mention messages that won't ever be brought back from people I really care/d about. T.T Well, I was stuck there. There was nothing I could do. It happened. The reason why i don't want to change my phone-- GONE. :(( aarrrggggghhhh!!!!
(Well, before that my mom and I fought over something i don't really remember but it pissed me off.)
So with our argument and my messages dilemma all behind me, i started texting people. And then my friend, Jhame asked me what sites were selling havaianas and so I said I knew one and that she could use my multiply account to look and then I realized that I don't have a gift for my then boyfriend, now ex, yet. So I asked my friends for gift ideas. I needed to buy him a gift for Christmas and his birthday. All of a sudden he sent me a text message,
"Jhes tingn ko hndi ko n kaya mgkalayo tayo. Tingn ko mgstop n tayo s relationshp nten".
It came from him. Well, duh. Wow! I didn't even know where that came from. I forwarded it to some of my closest friends. They, too were bewildered. I didn't reply 'cause what the hell was i going to say??
"Kasi matagal na tayo. Pro mgkalayo naman. Pti hndi n ako masaya. Tngin ko hndi k n dn masya." was his next message. I replied to this but i don't remember what I said.
"Hndi ko n kaya e. Gsto ko muna mgng single" so there you go. That's his reason. I have no idea what that means. Bahala ka na mag isip kung anong meron dyan.
"Hindi ko naman gsto n mgkalayo tayo. Kaya hndi ako masaya. kasi hindi naman kta nakakasama. Pti ano naman magagwa ko" Whoa! You make it seem like it was my fault. E hindi ba nga hindi ka naman nagsabi sa'ken na wala na pala kayong bahay dito? Aba. kung nalaman ko 'yun, papayagan ba kita na sa Manila mag aral? Hay naku.
Well, i sent a message but again I don't remember what I said but he didn't reply anymore.
So i had no idea what to think. Tears weren't coming yet. I guess I was still in shock and probably the fact that my family and I were gonna go out affected too. A little later his brother texted me to console me, I guess. We talked about stuff. We heard mass then my brother bought himself a pair of pants for his first sahod.:) How nice. Anyway, we were supposed to eat in Bigg's Daraga but when we reached daraga, it was effin closed so the driver had to turn the car around. We went to Bigg's albay instead. What a waste of gasoline! And then we ate there because we didn't have handa for Christmas.
When we reached home, i started internet-ing. And well, the rest of family? Uhm. They were drinking ata nun. I had to fix my friendster, multiply and facebook. Im effin SINGLE! i had to change my layout, pictures, my profile. edit edit.
I turned the computer off at about 1:00 or 1:30am. I'm not sure.
So i was in my room texting then i saw our picture right beside me and Mayel's picture. Then it hit me, I'm alone. Friggin ALONE and tears came along with that realization. I texted pa pala his mum nung mga 12:30 na sabi ko merry christmas po. So there i was again feeling oh so alone, then his mum texted me,
"Jess, janos s extending hs christmas greetings 2 u nd ur family"
I didn't reply. No offense or anything but I was still all depressed and crying so she had to understand right? Then juliano texted,
"Meri xmas. Ayoko iruin yung xmas m jhes. I want you to know that i still love you. Mahal parn kta." Ayun e. The damage was done, JULIANO! You don't wnna ruin my Christmas? Well, you already did. Don't give me that! Don't give me false hope. Stop saying you love me. We're broken up! It's just not OKAY!
I was debating on whether or not to greet him. I didn't. I just asked what he'll do with his tickets. Then he said he was gonna refund them na lang. Wow.
Then i fell asleep still crying.
I woke up this morning and my eyes were so effin swollen. He sent pa pla a message but I fell asleep already so I read it when I woke up. It said,
"Bkt m ntnung jhes? Kmsta dyan xmas?"
Bakit ko ntanong? Duh. Kase uuwi ka dapat 'di ba? Kumusta ang Christmas? Nino? Akin? Take a wild guess.
I bought an outfit for you. Well, not for you. For me when you get here. I was gonna watch Twilight with you. I BOUGHT AN OUTFIT! You said you wanted to be the first one to see me in a blouse, right? Whatever, Jess. I was on the process of asking people what gift would be nice when you broke up with me. Wow. Sana pala hindi na lang kita pinakilala kina mama at ate. You're not worth it lang naman pala.
Bitter? I have a right to be.
I'm ok.
No matter how many times I say that, it just doesn't sink in.
